Memory, Messages, and the Mystery of Visitation Dreams
Have you ever dreamed of someone who has passed away and in the dream they were alive, whole, and calm?
You wake up feeling like you got to see them again.
Not distressed.
Not frightened.
Just… visited.
Our dreaming minds are amazing.
But what are these dreams?
Are they memory integration?
Wish fulfillment?
Psychological processing?
Or something more?
Recently, I experienced two very different types of dreams involving people in my life who have died. They reminded me of one that was shared during a group experiment I conducted. Each one felt distinct. Each one carried a different emotional tone. And together, they reveal something important about how the dreaming mind works.
Dream Type 1: The Comforting Return
In one dream, a recently deceased neighbor appeared alive again. I was surprised in the dream. Others were surprised too. But she was whole. Calm. Not unhappy.
I woke feeling like I had been given a gift.
There was no fear. No confusion. Just comfort.
Psychologically, this makes sense. When someone dies, especially recently, our nervous system hasn’t fully integrated the absence. The brain sometimes “tests” the reality. It retrieves the emotional imprint of the person not their decline, not their final chapter but their essence.
And often, they appear whole.
Not sick.
Not distressed.
Not broken.
The mind preserves who they were to us.
Sometimes the dream doesn’t bring back the pain.
It brings back the love.
Dream Type 2: The Distorted Messenger
In another dream, a neighbor who died by suicide appeared very differently.
His mouth was blue. Deformed. He said he had “blue chip disease.”
This dream did not feel comforting.
It felt symbolic.
Blue often connects to breath, silence, depression “feeling blue.” The mouth relates to communication. Expression. What was said or left unsaid.
“Blue chip disease” was not a real diagnosis. My dreaming mind invented the phrase. Blue chip usually means stable, valuable, solid. A “blue chip” person appears strong on the outside.
What if the disease was hidden?
When someone dies suddenly or by suicide, the psyche struggles to reconcile the contradiction:
He was kind.
He was good to my son.
But he was suffering deeply.
Distortion in dreams often reflects confusion — not judgment. The psyche trying to process something that doesn’t fit neatly.
This dream felt less like a visit and more like integration.
The mind working through unfinished understanding.
Dream Type 3: The Experiment
I once conducted a dream experiment with twelve participants. The intention was simple: before sleep, ask to connect with a deceased loved one.
One woman dreamed of her father. In the dream, she asked him directly:
“Show me a physical sign in waking life.”
The next morning, she walked to her car. On the driver’s side window, on the dew-covered glass, was a cross — as if someone had taken their finger and drawn it into the moisture.
Was it coincidence?
Subconscious expectation?
Something spiritual?
We cannot prove what these experiences are.
But we also cannot dismiss the meaning they hold for the person who experiences them.
Are These Just Dreams?
From a psychological perspective:
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The dreaming mind retrieves emotional imprints.
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It preserves people in their essential form.
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It integrates grief.
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It resolves unfinished emotion.
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It processes shock.
From a spiritual perspective:
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Some believe dreams are a thin place between worlds.
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Some feel they receive messages.
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Some experience symbolic reassurance.
Here is where I stand:
We must leave space for possibility.
The subconscious knows what our loved ones would say. It knows their tone. Their values. Their wisdom. So when a dream delivers comfort or guidance, is that simply memory?
Or is it love continuing in a different form?
Perhaps both can be true.
Dreams do not resurrect bodies.
But they resurrect connection.
What Matters Most
The most important question is not:
“Was it real?”
The most important question is:
“How did it feel?”
Comforting dreams often signal integration.
Disturbing dreams often signal confusion or unfinished emotion.
Clear-message dreams may reflect internalized wisdom or something beyond us.
We don’t need to solve the mystery to honor the experience.
Journal Reflection: Tracking These type of Dreams
If you have ever dreamed of someone who has passed, begin documenting patterns.
In your journal, record:
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Who appeared?
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How did they look? Whole, distorted, younger, older?
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What was their emotional tone?
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Did they speak?
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What did they say?
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How did you feel upon waking?
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Did anything unusual happen in waking life afterward?
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How often do certain people reappear?
Over time, you may notice:
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Some people appear during transitions.
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Some appear when you need reassurance.
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Some appear when you are processing unresolved emotion.
The dreaming mind is not random.
It is relational.
It remembers love.
And sometimes — just sometimes — it feels like love remembers us back.
If you’re looking for a structured way to document and explore these patterns, my 30 Day Dream Mapping Journal is designed to help you track symbols, recurring figures, emotional tone, and waking-life connections. You can find it on Amazon by searching 30 Day Dream Mapping Journal by Deedee Jebrail or link to Amazon.
Because the more you record your dreams, the more clearly they begin to speak.
